So Yeah.

So yeah. Have I mentioned that I am tired of being fat? Seriously. TIRED. But my brain and my body are a little bit out of sync. I am either going to end up being the fittest fat person ever, or I will pull my head out of my ass and start eating right and shrink like I want to.

You would think it's fucking rocket science, but it's not. You would think I have some sort of metabolic disorder... but I don't. I have a brain disorder where hunger pains = imminent death apparently. At least that's how I sometimes act.

I had no candy and no sweets yesterday. Well, no real sweets. I had a 100 calorie pack of those chocolate hostess cupcakes... 1pt per pack! But I'm not buying those anymore... I have recently realized that the only reason I eat the granola bars and other shit is because it's there. It's good. It's there. oh and because it's there. No more.

I was very proud of myself yesterday, I went to the gym even though I had limited time, due to a meeting I needed to be at. I went, I ran, and got back in time. I didn't have a super long workout or anything, but I got my run in. That's the important thing. Normally I would've used the excuse that I didn't have enough time to do a good workout. Bullshit.

I have come to realize I use that excuse a lot. No more. Starting 2 days ago I called bullshit on that and went to the gym on my day off (I usually work out at the gym near work, but there isn't one near my house; my sister has a membership near my house though so I used her card)... I'm going to continue that trend on the weekends... I often don't want to go workout because I am leaving dh in a lurch w/ the kids by himself, and/or I talk myself out of it for one reason or another.

The most important thing is my health, and my fitness right now... so if that means a short trip to the gym is what I need, then a short trip it is. No more bagging out of going because I don't have enough time to do the workout I think I need.

*sigh* That said, I've already done the 30 day shred video this morning and mama is TIRED. I am going to do 60 min of cardio at lunch today as well.

Now I need to go do my hair and put my face on for work. *yawn*